Sir, Yes Sir
by Nokturna168
Summary: Canada knew today would end in disaster. If only the other countries would believe him... Rated for Mild Crack and Language. No Pairings.
1. Chapter 1

Hello Fellow Fanfictioners! This is my first fanfiction; hopefully you think it's awesome. If you don't take it out on Bela Rose Wolf, she's the one who basically forced me to write a fanfiction. Anyways, this is just an idea I had floating around in my mind. There shouldn't be any pairings in this, if there is it's totally by accident. Also, I welcome flames. I use them to bake the cookies I give to nice reviewers.

Warning (well not really): Both Human and Country names will be used. If you don't know the country's human names, go look it up or prepare for the consequence of confusion. And I apologize in advance for any spelling/grammatical errors. Rated T for mild(ish) language.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything mentioned in this story. Except the plotline.

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><p>Today was not going to end well. Not that days of the world conference ever ended on a high note. No, today was just going to be even worse, Canada just knew. That is because today was America's turn to host the monthly Fitness Challenge.<p>

_I guess this was bound to happen eventually,_ Matthew thought. _It was Al's First Lady who came up with the idea. So far, things have surprisingly gone well. If only it could last…_

The First Lady had always been concerned with the health of Americans, Alfred especially. So four months ago, she came up with a plan. Every month a country, chosen at random, would come up with a chain of activities for the other nations to run through. It could include anything, from obstacle courses to healthy food seminars. The format could be a single station or multiple. It could be anything, as long as it was both creative and fun. And to encourage leadership skills, the host country would have to coach the others through their challenge. They could not just tell them what their plan was and leave. This entire idea would also encourage bonding and friendship between the countries. _Or so she thought._

_ But I know better. I know as a fact this plan will end in disaster the second Al is host, _thought Canada.

The past few months have gone surprisingly well. Perfectly even. Since the host country is picked at random, the first country wasn't Alfred. Instead, it was the Italy brothers. While Germany dreaded what Italy would come up with, most were curious. As it turned out, everyone enjoyed learning their healthy pasta and tomato recipes.

The next country was France. France… well, Papa did very France-like things. Or at least he tried. He said he had a game for us to play. We all knew where this was going even before the _Ohonhon_'s. He only got to the second sentence of explaining the rules before Moth- _England_ punched him in the face. Then, it was unanimously decided that Papa would never, under any circumstance, host another health meeting.

After Papa, was Germany. Everyone, especially Italy, was dreading Germany's turn. But it actually wasn't that bad. Well, the challenge wasn't that bad. It was the cleaning afterwards that was brutal. Seriously, Germany is really OCD. Matthew doesn't mean that in a bad way. No, of course not. But Germany made them clean so much, even the dirt was clean when they were done. Matthew was so sore the next day, never again…

But now is where the problem lies. Those other countries, even Papa, did okay for the most part. But now, now it's Al's turn. Canada knew exactly what that meant, and it's not good.

"Leave it to that bloody git to arrive late to the meeting he's supposed to be hosting. He's so inconsiderate to other people. He's probably going to just waltz in here, not apologize for being late, and have nothing prepared," England said angrily.

"He's so irresponsible, aru," China added.

While the countries were ranting about America's lack of punctuality, Canada was off in his own little world.

~*Flashback*~

It's been only two weeks since Canada arrived in Afghanistan. But Matthew had yet to see Alfred. He was starting to get worried. He kept asking people if they knew where Alfred was, but their responses were all the same. They would freeze up, make up some lame excuse, and hurried away. It really freaked Matty out.

_What if something happened to him? _Mathew thought._ What if he got hurt? Or worse? Oh, what was I thinking? I should have never let him come here by himself!_

As he continued to berate himself internally, Canada started to meander. Without realizing it, he had started to head towards the training grounds. When he finally realized where he was going, he was already there. He saw Alfred. Matthew was so happy to see his brother again that he ran over without thinking. When he reached the American, he witnessed something he will never forget…

~*End Flashback*~

Canada finally snapped out of his stupor to find the countries still ranting. He sighed deeply. _I might as well warn them while their still free, _Matthew thought.

"Umm, guys? Maybe we shouldn't rant about America's lateness. In fact, we should be enjoying this free time. I-I mean, who knows what he'll put us through, eh?" Matthew stammered. Amazingly, the countries actually noticed him for once.

"Canada, what are you worried about? We're talking about America here. The worst that stupid git will do is make us play "fitness" Mii games or whatever," England argued.

"I-I think you mean Wii, and I don't think he'll-"Canada was cut off.

"Or maybe he'll force us to partake in a hamburger-eating contest, aru," China guessed.

"On, you guys don't underst-"Canada was interrupted yet again. By this point Canada was invisible once more and out right ignored by the few that could still see him. _Oh well. No one can say I didn't try to warn them, _Matthew thought as he hugged Kumawhatshisname tighter against his chest.

"Ohonhon, I would like to see _l'Amerique _force _moi_ to eat his filthy food. Pshh, his food is almost as bad as-"

"Don't you dare, bloody Frog!" England screeched.

"Maybe little Америка will try to make us play his sports, da?" Russia said, followed by a chain of kols.

"If that twat tries to get us to play that pathetic knock-off of rugby, I'll-"

**BAM!**

England was suddenly cut off as the door was kicked in. All the countries jumped and whipped their heads to where the door once stood. At first, they had no idea who was standing in the doorway. Had some crazy person somehow gotten into the building? When he took off his aviators, they could see a slight crazy glint in his sky blue eyes. But no, he looked so familiar…

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><p>And scene. Okay, so how was my first chapter? Please review and tell me what you think. Hey Bela Rose Wolf, are ya happy now? I finally uploaded this thing.<p>

Hmmmm… I wonder _who_ could possibly be that mysterious man at the end. Gosh, I just don't know. *sarcasm*

Next chapter should be up soon. Until then, Waffles, Unicorns, Pixie Dust, and French Tears. (BTW all these thing are relevant to the next chapter)


	2. Chapter 2

Hello again my Fellow Fanfictioners! I have update my story (after a lot of pestering courtesy of Bela Rose Wolf). I am _SOOOOO _sorry for the wait.*sarcasm* I haven't updated because I am a very lazy girl. Once again, I welcome flames. I use them to bake the cookies I give to nice reviewers.

Also, some stuff in this chapter (but mainly the next one)will be based on cheesy, stereotyped things from war movies. I.E. calling a subordinate 'maggot', shouting random insults at people, having everyone repeat an exercise because one person did something slightly wrong, and so forth.

Warning (well not really): Both Human and Country names will be used. If you don't know the country's human names, go look it up or prepare for the consequence of confusion. And I apologize in advance for any spelling/grammatical errors. Slight OOCness in some characters.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything mentioned in this story. Except the plotline. Here is chapter two.

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><p>Wait a minute. They knew who this was. It was America.<p>

"Ve~ America, you scared me! Why did you break down your door? And why are wearing such weird clothes?" Italy inquired.

Indeed, the American was wearing weird clothes. Or at least, not clothes he usually wore. He was wearing a pair of camouflage army pants, combat boots, an army hat, and a black tank top. A pair of aviators replaced Texas. In one hand was a megaphone, in the other a clipboard.

"Why are you wearing that outfit? Where is your other jacket? Why aren't you smiling? And why do look so angry? Vee~ You should eat some pasta! That always makes me feel better! And then you should-"

"Shut up Italy! Can't you see your making him angrier? You're so fucking dense! Think for once will you?" Romano shouted.

"But fratello, I just wanted to know why he's so mad. Oh! And why he was late. And why he kicked down his door. Could he not open it normally? Maybe it was stuck!" Italy continued to ramble.

"Italy. That is completely irrelevant. If you stopped talking so much, maybe he would answer your questions," Germany reasoned.

"Hey! Don't talk to my idiot brother like that, Potato Bastard!" Romano yelled.

While most of the countries were wrapped up in the trio's conversation, no one noticed the American's grip on the clipboard tighten. Nor did they see his eyes narrow as he put the aviators back on his face. No one that is, besides Canada.

_ Oh no. He's getting really pissed. Can't the others see that they're making him _angrier_? They're just making things worse for us._ The Canadian desperately tried to make himself disappear completely. _I really don't want to go through this twice. And he was in a good mood the other time. Maple._

"Aw, Lovi, you look like un-"The Spaniard was cut off by the American.

"**SHUT UP!**" America screamed into the megaphone. The room was silent. "Now that I have your attention, make a single file line." No one moved. "**NOW!**" The countries scattered to get in line.

America eyes passed over all of the countries; looking each in the eyes individually. Just then, another voice was heard from the hallway. Prussia entered the room awesomely. The awesome ex-nation sauntered over to Alfred and put his arm around his shoulders.

"I'm not too late am I, _sir?_" The Prussian said sarcastically.

"Get in line," America stated coldly.

"Aw. No special treatment for your awesome ex-officer?" Prussia received a blank look. "I guess not. What they said is true; the student has surpassed his awesome teacher and all that." He got another blank stare. "I guess I should get in the line-up now."

"Yes, you should," the American replied.

Prussia glared at him. "Well, I know whatever you have us do is going to awesome. After all I taught you everything you know."

After getting no response, Prussia let out a frustrated sigh. "Come on. Do I have to ask you?" Nothing. "Please?" Blink. "Just let me help you, already! You owe me!"

"No, I don't and no thanks, Prussia. I think I can handle this," America replied.

"What are you two talking about? Why would Mr. America let _you_ help him with anything. You're completely useless," Hungary said.

"Hey! I have plenty of awesome uses! He would be lucky to get help from the Awesome Me! And for your information, America here is going to be training us. So I thought I could help cuz I helped train him during his revolution. I drilled him and his men. If it wasn't for me and Friedrich he would have definitely lost," Prussia ranted.

"You mean it was you? I thought it was the frog that helped him! Why would you help my colony rebel! That war was none of your business. Why did you have to stick your nose where it didn't belong?" England exclaimed angrily.

"Ohonhon, _Anglterre_, it was both of us who helped him," France stated, smirking.

"Why? You did that just to spite me didn't you, bloody Frog!" England stepped out of line, literally.

"**GET BACK IN LINE, MAGGOT!**"The megaphone was used once again.

"Make me deaf why don't you? Don't use that thing next to me ear next time," England ordered as he got back in line.

"I'll use it whenever I want; wherever I want to. Got it?" America said. "I hope you enjoyed your free-time, because training is starting now. There are some rules all of you will obey. If these rules are broken, there will be consequences. There will be no second chances or freebies. Am I making myself clear?" America asked.

No one replied.

"I said, AM I CLEAR?" He repeated. He got a chorus of 'yes's and 'sure's . "Okay, that's better. Now onto the rules:

Rule One-When I speak to you, you will respond with a 'sir, yes sir', 'yes sir', or 'yes sergeant'.

Rule Two-Anything I say goes. My word is law for the remainder of this training session. No if's, and's, or but's about it.

Rule Three-You must answer me when I talk to you. No talking back, snappy comments, or questioning me . If you talk back to me, question me, or just don't respect mah authoritah, there will be immediate consequences."

"Authoritah? Why must he disgrace my beautiful language" England mumbled to himself. He was ignored.

"Rule Four-Today's training will not be over until each and every one of you complete all the activities. You will either be given a number of things to complete or a certain amount of time to complete the activity. If one of you doesn't finish on time, everyone will have to repeat the activity. If you complain or your effort is not satisfactory, you will have to repeat the activity. If I feel like making you repeat the activity just for the Hell of it, you will have to complete the activity. Am I clear?" America asked.

A collective 'yes' was emitted from the group.

"I don't think you heard me, I said, AM I CLEAR?" America repeated.

"Yes, Sir!" The countries replied.

"Good. Now you may go get breakfast. It is in the room across the hall. Be back here by oh-nine hundred hours." The American concluded. He then turnedand left the room. As soon as his footsteps could no longer be heard, voices erupted throughout the room.

"What the Hell was with that idiot? Who does he think he is acting all high and fucking mighty, ordering us around?" Romano ranted.

"Ve ~ He reminded me of how Germany used to be during World War II. I really hope his training isn't the same as Doitsu's! That would suck!" Italy complained.

"Oh, trust me Italy. His training will be worse than West's was. I should know, he learned everything he knows from the Awesome Me! Kesesese~"Prussia cackled.

"But _mon ami,_ do you really think he remembered every drill you had him and his men run through. I mean, it was over 250 years ago," France questioned.

"I told you so," A ghostly whisper was heard.

"AHHH! What was that, aru!" China exclaimed.

"It's me, Canada," said Canadian ignored the 'who?' that came from the bear in his hands. "And I tried to warn you, but none of you would listen."

"Warn us of what, Canada?" England asked.

"Warn you of what America's like when he gets like this. Demanding, controlling, cruel-boarder-line-sadistic. He's like all of those typical American drill sergeants put together. The only way to survive today's training session is to do whatever he says whenever he says it. Speaking of following his every order, we should be eating instead of complaining about America's new personality," Canada said.

"So you think we should just go along with everything _l'Amerique_ wants," France said, flabbergasted.

"Yes Papa. We really shouldn't mess with him today. In fact, we should go out of our way to be nice to him. Just don't be too obvious, he'll just ignore your efforts in favor of calling you a brown-nosed kiss up," Canada stated.

"Why should we act nice to Америка? He is a selfish, self-proclaimed Hero who is solely motivated by his own de sires," Russia stated simply. The other nations nodded in agreement.

"We should because most, if not all of you have forgotten something very important," Canada paused.

"And, like, what would that be?" Poland asked.

"It would be that he is freakishly strong. I know that he doesn't usually use his all of his strength, but that doesn't mean that it's not there. He could probably destroy most of you in a second in a fight. But he always holds back because of his hero complex. In his mind he thinks it wouldn't be fair to have that much power over us. That way of thinking doesn't apply to him now. He's in military mode now; he's not going to hold back if you go against him. And to make things worse, today isn't just training or fitness awareness. It' revenge.

"Today is the perfect opportunity to get back at us for every mean comment, rude remark, jeer, and anything else he's had to put up with. All I'm trying to say is this: America is already plenty pissed at us, don't make thing worse on yourself by being difficult," Canada concluded his mini-speech. The countries were silent. If one walked into the room, they could basically see worry and regret growing on everyone's face as they remember anything, everything they have said to the American. The severity of the situation has finally dawned on them.

At this moment of revelation, Alfred re-entered the room. He noticed all of the countries are in the room. _Maybe they actually took me seriously for once and listened to what I said. Ha, yeah right, _America thought. He then took the whistle that was hanging from around his neck and blew into it sharply. A shrill whistle sounded, startling most of the nations out of their thoughts.

"Did you seriously stay here the entire time? Not cool dudes, not cool. I even made you waffles. Shaped like unicorns! Do you know how hard it is to make unicorn shaped waffles? Pretty damn hard, I'll tell you," America ranted.

"Don't you mean pancakes?" Inquired a confused Japan. "How can one make waffles in any shape?"

America glared. "I'll be honest; I didn't expect Japan, of all people, to be the first to break a rule."

"What? No, I meant no disrespe-"The island of Japan was cut off.

"Wow Japan. You're on a role, breaking rules left and right. I'll have to give you a punishment for it later. And no, I didn't mean pancakes. If I had meant pancakes, I would have said pancakes. Though I guess you guys aren't hungry if you didn't eat. All for the better actually. I was going to let you have 30 minutes or so to relax before we started. You know, so the food could digest. But since you didn't eat, you don't need to laze around. Training starts now," America stated. "Follow me."

America turned and left. The nations reluctantly followed. They walked out of the conference building and into a clearing. The clearing looked like a typical training set up in a war movie. There were some tires lined up two-by-two, a small track, a rock wall, barbed wire close to the ground, and an obstacle course. America turned and addressed the countries.

"Okay, maggots. I will be your training officer for today, if that wasn't already obvious to you. Today you'll be going through a typical day in the US Army. Now a lot of you seem to think that all Americans are fat, lazy, out-of-shape slobs that just sit around all day doing nothing. By the end of today, you'll no longer be thinking that.

"For your first exercise, you will be doing warm-ups. So, drop and give me twenty!" America yelled into his megaphone.

Canada immediately fell to the ground and started doing push-ups. The others just stared confusedly at Alfred.

"Twenty what, aru? You didn't finish your sentence," China said.

One of America's eyes twitched slightly. The frustrated nation sighed. "Have none of you seen my awesome war movies? Or my cheesy high school TV shows? That means 'do twenty push-ups' ya morons."

Most of the group grumbled to themselves but did as they were told. Emphasis on _most._

"You cannot expect _moi_ to lower myself to the dirt! My fabulous outfit will be sullied!" A certain Frenchman exclaimed disbelievingly.

"Like, totes. I just got this totally fab shirt yesterday," Poland added.

"Oh, you're right. I'm so cruel. Having you do push-ups when you're wearing such expensive clothes? I'm so sorry. And it's not at all your fault for wearing such clothes when you knew you were going to do physical exercise, oh no. Don't worry, I have just the thing for you," The American gushed sarcastically. "It's this magic powder that will protect your clothes from the dirt."

"Oh, please. What magical thing could you possibly possess that could do that?" England demanded.

"Why, pixie dust of course," America replied. He bent down, scooped up a handful of dirt, and stood back up. He then held his hand in front of his mouth and blew the powdery substance onto the two fashion-obsessed countries. They shrieked girlishly and hysterically tried to get the dirt off of their clothes, but to no avail. They both sobbed overdramatically.

America cleared his throat, loud enough to get everyone's attention. "I know that I always act like a total idiot. I seem to never read the atmosphere or take things seriously. But I have always been your friend. Even when it doesn't seem like it, or I'm at war with you, I still care about you. I'm always there when you need my help.

"But not today. Today, I'm not your friend, today I am your enemy. I am purposely make today Hell for you. I will intentionally do things that will make you hate me. The reason for that is because I am _not_ the complete idiot all of you think I am. I can read the atmosphere; I just chose to ignore it. I am capable of intelligent thought; I just rarely show it because I don't want you to have such impossibly high expectations of me. But the bottom line is this: I fully understand all of your comments. _Oh look at stupid America. He screwed up again. Everything is his fault._ And you know what? They hurt. Every last one of them. But I never let it show how much it gets to me; I never lose face or drop my façade. I just deal with it and bottle everything up inside.

"Today is payback; for every comment or jeer or whatever. I going to take everything you've thrown at me and throw it back. Today, you'll get to know what it's like to live a day in the life of America. Well, that plus an excruciating training session. All you have to do is survive today. Tomorrow everything will be back to normal and I go back to being the oblivious idiot you all know and love to hate."

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><p>And scene. How was this chapter? Was it better than the last? Worse? Tell me please. I will update chapter three at some point. It may take a while, but I'll write it. I'm not sure how long it this story will be, but probably no more than a few more chapters. Anyone who gets the south park reference will get a cookie. :{D<p>

What to expect in the next chapter: Pizza(leave a review telling me a random topping)


	3. Chapter 3

Hey guys! Sorry for the wait! …And for the shortness of the chapter. Next chapter will be longer for sure. Scouts Honor! Also sorry for the crappiness of the chapter. It's kind of a filler/building up for the next chapter. The next chapter is when the real fun begins. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own any copyrighted material mentioned in this craptastic chapter.

Warnings: None

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><p>Everyone was silent.<p>

"Okay, now that the over emotional speech is over with, I believe that I told you to do twenty push-ups," America said.

Slowly, the countries lowered themselves to the floor. Some, as they completed their task, grumbled and complained under their breath. Fortunately for them, America let it slide.

After they finished their push-ups, the members of the G20 got up and looked to America.

"Next you are going to do jumping jacks." Many (all except Germany, Russia, England and Canada) groaned. "Hey, don't be so glum~ I know exactly what will make things easier for you. How about I put on some music? That always motivates me." Some of the complaining countries were content with that answer and promptly shut up. "You guys can get in line over here-" Alfred pointed to his left "go line up at the starting line while I get my iPod and speakers, 'kay? Oh, and Mattie? You don't have to do it."

"But that is not fair, da? Isn't that what you are all about? Everything being fair and just. What is fair about Matvey getting to skip out of this exercise?" Russia questioned.

"Nothing. Nothing is fair Mattie getting to sit out. And didn't I already tell you not to question me? I believe that was one of my rul-"

"But he should have to do it just like the rest of us, Jerk!" Sealand exclaimed.

"When the Hell did he get here? Go home!" England shouted.

"No way, Jerk of Jerks. I'm stayi-" Sealand was cut off by a shrill whistle sounding in his ear. "AHHHHHH!"

"Sealand. Out. The rest of you. Line. **NOW**," America ordered. Sealand quickly scurried off and the other (actual) countries scrambled to get in line. "You keep forgetting my ruuuuules," America whined. "They're not that hard to remember. "

"We're in America, so we should vote, aru. Whoever thinks that Cana-whatever should do jumping jacks say aye," China said. All except two said 'aye'.

"That was so cute~ All of you voting as if it would really make a difference. Canada's still not joining you."

"But-"

"No buts. Vote all you want; it ain't gonna do ya any good. You're under my control right now. You will obey my every command without hesitation or complain; you will do what I want of you, you will-I feel like I'm repeating myself. Whatever-bottom line: just don't talk back. The faster you stop complaining the sooner this will be over. I will totally end this early if we get through everything, okay?" America concluded.

The mini speech pushed the nations into submission. They quietly waited as America turned and walked back into the conference building. He didn't notice that Canada had followed him.

"Al, I'm fine with going through training with them. Really, it's no problem," Matthew said.

"I know it's no problem, but I don't want you to. You already had to go through with my training in Afghanistan when you visited me. You don't have to go through it again. And besides, I'll need help keeping them in line," America said, smiling at his brother. Canada sighed and nodded his head. "Okay… I'll help you." The Canadian turned and went back outside. America quickly grabbed his iPod and left.

"Okie-dokie! This is how things are going down: I'm going to play random songs on my iPod and you're going to do jumping jacks throughout the song without stopping. Before we start, do you have any requests? Though you'll have to keep it to American Pop," America said to the group. He was met blank stares and glares. "All right! No requests! I guess we'll just start now." America then looked at his iPod, flipping through random songs. Suddenly, a wide grin spread across his face. "Perfect…," he muttered.

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><p>And scene! …Yeah, I don't know about this chapter. I really don't like it and it's way too short. But that's where I thought I should end it. Next chapter will definitely be longer. A lot of fun stuff in the next chapter, it'll be hilarious! Also, what song has America found? Leave a review with song suggestions! What songs would really annoyhorrify the Eurasians?


	4. Chapter 4

Yay~ An update! Thanks to everyone who reviewed~ *Ignores the fact I should have written thank you several chapters ago ^-^'* Thanks to all who suggested songs and artists Alfred should play on his iPod. I got several about Justin Bieber, but unfortunately (or fortunately depending on your point of view) I couldn't fit him into the chapter. There were a bunch of songs that I wanted to play but sadly couldn't. And a lot of you keep asking for Alfred (and Mattie) to do more militaristic things. Sadly I'm not going to put much of that as this is purely for Alfred's revenge/entertainment. It wouldn't do him well to give all the countries his military secrets, now would it?

And just as extra information, this fic is way different then I had planned it to be. It was originally going to be all military and more serious. Then it kinda went down its own path and got downright silly. In fact, it's really bordering crack at this point…*shot* Isn't it weird how that'll happen? Oh the woes of a writer~ *Dramatically sighs and clutches a rose like France*

On another note, this is technically the last chapter. I apologize to everyone who was expecting more from this. There will be an epilogue, but that's all. I'll try to post that soon enough so you aren't as angry at me~ Thanks for all the support thus far, and enjoy the chapter!

Warning: Meh! Find out for yerself. I'm too lazy to write it here for you!

Disclaimer: Is this really necessary? I mean, come on! Do you honestly think I lied to you for the past three chapters with the other disclaimers? *sigh* I don't own any copyrighted material or any people mentioned in the fic…

(Why do I bother writing these? No one really reads the entire A/N, if they read it at all. They only read it if it's short, which this one is not.)

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><p>The nations of the world (or, at least, twenty of them plus Prussia) waited anxiously as America connected his iPod to the speakers. What song could have caused that grin? The music started.<p>

_I hopped off the plane at LAX with a dream and my cardigan_

As the countries started jumping, they listened for a few seconds, confused. They were all expecting some obnoxious, over auto-tuned, uber pro-America nonsensical song. This… wasn't so bad, at least compared to what they were expecting. Then came the chorus.

_Got my hands up, they're playing my song_

_And now I'm gonna be okay_

_Yeah! It's a party in the USA!_

"Of course you would play this song," England sighed. "You're such a narcissist."

"Hey, at least I'm not the one doing jumping jacks," America replied. England glared and continued jumping. When the song ended, another began playing before Alfred had the chance to pick the one he wanted.

_I can almost see it  
>That dream I am dreaming<br>But there's a voice inside my head saying  
>"You'll never reach it"<em>

"Like, that's totes The Climb by Miley Cyrus. OMG, I have this song on my iPod too!" Poland exclaimed excitedly. The other countries gave America a questioning look.

Alfred looked at the floor, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. He paused the song. "Uhhh… Don't look at me like that! It's a totally manly song. Er, yeah! It's about persevering and staying strong through tough times in your life and, and … yeah." He quickly changed the song to the one he originally wanted. Or he tried. He accidentally hit the wrong one. _Man, what is up with me and technology today?_

As Alfred was about to change the song, again, his eyes lit up. _I know this song!_ He then started to dance (read: shuffle) as the nations backed away, thoroughly creeped out be his weirdness.

_When I walk on by, girls be looking like damn he fly  
>I pimp to the beat, walking down the street in my new lafreak, yeah<br>This is how I roll, animal print, pants out control,  
>It's RedFoo with the big afro<br>And like Bruce Lee I've got the claw_

Then, to the horror of the other countries, he began to sing along with the chorus.

_Girl look at that body (x3)  
>I work out<br>Girl look at that body (x3)  
>I work out<em>

When I walk in the spot, this is what I see  
>Everybody stops and they staring at me<br>I got passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it

"I'm sexy and I know it!" America screamed. After screaming, he remembered where he was and looked around. Everyone, minus Canada, who was used to his brother's *cough* unique vocal abilities, was holding their ears, all in obvious pain.

"U-uhh… Well, onto the actual song," America mumbled sheepishly. He, finally, hit the right song. "Aren't y'all supposed to be jumping?" America asked with a raised eyebrow. The countries reluctantly began jumping. Until they reached the chorus of _this_ song.

_Shots shots shots shots shots _

_shots__shots shots shots shots_

_shots__shots shots shots shots shots_

_everybody!_

_The fuck?..._ is probably what all of the countries were thinking. All of the countries, minus Prussia.

"Kesesesese! This song is awesome! You know what would make it awesomer?" Prussia asked.

"Nah, what?" America responded.

"Taking shots while listening," Prussia said while smirking. America mulled this over for a few seconds.

"Sure, why not?" Alfred said, pausing the song. Prussia grinned and ran to get beer. Germany facepalmed.

"I think I shall also partake in the drinking of shots, da?" Russia said while smiling creepily. He took his vodka out of his jacket. Prussia quickly returned. He excitedly poured himself several shots of beer as America pressed play on his iPod. As with all things Hetalia, it did not take long before something went wrong.

Prussia was trying very hard not to spill his drink. Knowing that Russia was having no problems drinking his did not help. After a few seconds, Prussia finally decided to just go for it. He quickly brought the shot glass to his lips…

…and spilled beer all over himself and the unfortunate country that was standing next to him. That country was, of course, Germany. Germany started to freak out at having his shirt ruined. His previously neat, perfectly pressed shirt. That was now covered in beer. And would probably stain. Cue OCD attack.

As he fell into the fetal position, Prussia wasn't doing any better. He just spilled all of his beer. Perfectly good beer that he will _never_ get back. What kind of Prussian was he to commit such a heinous crime? Cue obsessive beer-lover mental break down.

Everyone else ignored Prussia as he also fell into a fetal position. Many nations started to complain about the jumping jacks.

"All right, all right. You guys can have a five minute break," America complied. Many cheered. "But I'm not going to stop the music." Many whined and booed. America smiled. "Come on guys, I won't put on anything to bad. Promise." No one thought anything of him crossing his fingers.

He scrolled through his playlist. He a huge grin spread across his face as he found the song he was looking for. "Hey, I wanna show you guys something. Come'ere!" Everyone, minus Prussia and Germany for obvious reasons, walked over to him reluctantly.

"Okay, this is an awesome kind of music that's starting to get really popular in my house. It's soooo awesome I don't even… just listen, 'kay?" America said. He pressed play as the countries looked warily at the iPod.

The song started off well enough. It was okay so far. And then…

!

"AHHHH!" Austria screamed as he fell to the ground, clutching his ears. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" Now, Austria is a high-class, very well-mannered, upstanding citizen. It takes a lot to make act even improper in any way, let alone falling to the ground and screaming bloody murder.

Everyone looked in shock at the Austrian "It's only dubstep…" muttered America. He turned down the volume. Alfred finally takes notice of the various states of panic the three Germanic nations were in. He turned to Enland and France.

"_These_ are the people you needed me to save you from in World War 2?" America questioned unsurely. England and France were furious.

"How dare you?"

"_Pauvre naze_! You insolent little-"

"It's not like we _needed _you! We j-just didn't want you to feel left out!"

"Exactly. As if Germany _really_ could have lead a successful invasion of _moi_. Pshh! I let myself get captured so you would have something to do!"

"Please, Frog! You're so pathetic!"

"Excuse me? At least _I_ did not go crying to _Amerique_." Alfred started at this.

"Oh, like you denied my help? You were so happy I was there to save your ass that you were practically kissing my feet."

"I did no such thing!"

"I wouldn't put it past you, wanker."

The trio continued arguing as the others looked on in amusement. Canada sighed, why couldn't his family be normal? {1}

Matthew calmly walked over to the speakers and turned them off. He walked over and helped Prussia up while he promised to go out drinking with him later, which cheered the Prussia up greatly. Then he walked over to Germany and told him where the extra shirts are in the building so he may change. Lastly, he picked up a random spray bottle and walked over to his family. He proceeded to spray them like misbehaved kittens. All this was done with a straight face.

Canada convinced America to put on some classical, or at least orchestral, music to make Austria feel better. America pouted, but did what he's told. He flipped through his iPod, for the umpteenth time that day, and played a song by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. This appeased Austria enough to not sic Hungary on America.

As all this drama unfolded, no one noticed as a small dispute that had broken out between the Italy brothers.

*`~Skip back to the time when England, France, and America's argument started~`*

"I'm going out to lunch later and you can come with me! America said there's a really good Italian restaurant nearby," Italy excitedly told his brother.

"No," said Romano.

"But it'll be so fun~ I'll be there, and Spain will be there, and Miss Hungary, and Mister Austria, and Prussia, and Germany-"

"I'm not going if Potato Bastard is going! I hate him so much…*insert rant* …And you're not allowed to go either! And you're not allowed to go to his house anymore! He'll probably rape you or force you to eat wurst or some other horrible thing! And you better not sneak off to his hotel room later-" Romano was interrupted mid-rant.

"Ve~ How did you know I was going to Germany's room later?" Italy said, completely oblivious to his brother's rage.

"WHAT?" Romano launched himself at Italy and attacked him.

*`~Present time~`*

America, no longer distracted by his "parents", walked over and separated the Italians. _Man, _America thought._ There're just as bad as the guys on the _Jersey Shore._ I guess it's really an Italian thing after all. Sweet! That means it's not totally my fault for all the weirdoes in my country. _{2}

After separating them, America said, "You guys have to do 5 laps for fighting."

"Veee~ But I don't want to do laps! Germany has me do enough of those at home as is!" Italy complained. {3}

"Ya know, I have some pizza that I was saving for lunch. But I suppose I go get it after you're done with your laps," America said slyly. Italy ran faster than he did when he was chased by the British Army in WW2.

Romano cast one more glare at his brother before turning to leave. America stepped in front of him.

"Where do you think you're going?" America asked.

"To my hotel room. You only need one Italy here anyway," Romano said. He side-stepped Alfred and walked past him.

"Wait! I didn't dismiss you yet!" He was given the middle finger. He turned towards Spain. "Dude, you're friends with him or something, right? Go bring him back here," America demanded. Spain look very hesitant.

"Uh, _lo siento,_ but I don't want to get involved in this. Lovi looks angry enough," The Spaniard replied. He had learned the hard way not to mess with Romano when Pota-Germany was involved. It was a lesson he knew all too well.

"Do you _want_ a reenactment of the Spanish-American War? Go get him," America demanded, harsher this time. Spain looked furious.

"Hey, if Lovi hadn't taken my battle axe from me, I would have won," Spain said.

"Sure, whatever. Just go," America said. Spain reluctantly turned to get Romano. America turned to the other nations. "Okay! No more jumping jacks! Now we're onto stretching." America points to a ballet bar that suddenly appeared. France lights up.

"We are doing ballet? _Je __suis__ tellement excite!" _France exclaimed. He ripped off his clothes. What was left was a pink leotard, tutu, and tights. {4}

Everyone walked over to the bar and began to stretch. Only France, Austria, Germany, and Russia did this with ease.

"I told you that learning the art of ballet would benefit you later on, Germany," Austria said to the blushing German.

"And_ I _told _you_ that you'd regret not taking ballet lessons from _moi_, _Angleterre,_" France gloated.

"Oh, shut up you," England muttered in embarrassment.

"BALLET ORIGINATED IN KOR-"

"_NON!_ I invented ballet, not you!" France screamed.

"Actually, I invented bal-" Italy had just returned, and was cut-off. {5}

"YOU LIE!" France screamed dramatically.

France went back to arguing with Korea until China calmly walked over and Bitch-slapped both of them. "Both of you are so immature, aru."

Italy walked over to America, who had just picked up his aforementioned slice of pizza.

"Ve~ I did the five laps like you said. Can I have some pizza now?" Italy politely asked.

"What are you talking about?" America asked.

"You said if I did the five laps, I could have pizza," Italy said.

"Noooo. I said I had a slice of pizza. I never said that I would give it to you; you just assumed," America said slyly. He bit into his pizza.

Italy looked shocked. He was motionless. His face twitched slightly, then a little more. His eyes grew dark. "…No pizza?... You lied?..."

"I didn't lie; you a- AHHHH!" America screamed as he was suddenly tackled to the ground. Italy was swearing and hitting him viciously until Romano ran over and picked him up off of Alfred. He hugged him tightly so he wouldn't escape.

"Stupid fratello… Remember hug therapy, God dammit!" Romano told his brother. {6}

"I don't care about hug therapy! Let me go!" Italy screamed. Germany looked at them curiously. This seemed so familiar…

America got up and dusted himself off. "Didn't need to tackle me…" Alfred muttered to himself. "Besides, it's lunchtime. Everyone can go eat now." He turned and walked back to the building with his brother.

* * *

><p>SCENE! End of this really long chapter. Seriously, there's like over 2,000 words. And that's not including the author's notes and lyrics.<p>

Soooo, how did you like this chapter? Please leave me a review with your thoughts. Also, as I said in the author's note above, there is only an epilogue after this. Sooo, yeah. Thanks for everyone's support thus far and I'll see you next chapter.

(P.S. Sorry for any mistakes with the languages. I got them from, surprise, surprise, Google Translate and the internet)

Extra Notes:

{1} I LOVE the FACE family. It's just so-so awesome and cute and (insert rambling on FACE family here)

{2} America just wants someone to share the blame with him.

{3} Even though the war is long since over, Germany still trains Italy. Someone has to keep him in shape ;)

{4} France _would_ wear a ballet outfit under his clothes. Creep…

{5} Fun Fact Time! Did you know that ballet actually originated in Italy? It's true! The early form of ballet originated there in the 1400's. But it quickly moved to France, where it was perfected.

{6} Never thought their roles would be reversed, did you?


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